first of all, a selfie, bc i took at least one hundred of them, and this was the only one in which my face shape doesn’t distract me from all of the other elements. plus, i have this farrah flip going on which is pretty cool. and i’m not putting a selfie up in my regular blog because i’d prefer to maintain seeming cool.

i was snapping shots in the backyard [so my neighbors wouldn’t think i’m weird anymore, ergo, would stop watching me in my mind all the time]. earlier that day i had applied to a local strip club. now i’m not a stripper, but i need money. they haven’t had a chance to get back to me yet, but they will. i know i’m not the best at applications but this was a piece of cake: tell us a little about yourself and two pictures.

unfortunately the only pics of myself on my phone that weren’t total gags were of my body. um, ones others have taken. so i hookered out, prepared for when they call/e-mail me back or however we’re supposed to be communicating these days. i wouldn’t know.

these twenty pounds of soy wax, which are not to be confused with twenty ounces, might have something to do with why i have problems with money.

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